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Showing posts from 2016

Being a mom

Being a mom feels like that ;)
But seriously, how it is to be a mom?

Sometimes I hate it, and I sigh to how my life was before, and then things get easier and I kind of enjoy changing dirty nappies several times a day and sooth my baby for hours during the night....
Who am I kidding??!! My life is over! Big time! And probably I'll never have so much free time I used to have before.
But sometimes I try to imagine how my life would look like without Zoe and it seems so predictable, so BORING! With her I never can be sure if I'll survive till the next day without going crazy! ;) Life became so unpredictable, so dangerous with such a huge amount of caffeine in my veins and constant lack of proper sleep.
 Being a mom is a wonder.
I am like: "how the hell I can still function?"

Being a mom is a challenge.
I think I can't do any more , I'm exhausted and I want to jump out of the window or throw myself under a bus ,and then my baby pushes me even more, so I need to suck…

6 weeks postpartum - the real story

After leaving the hospital the third nipple ( hemorrhoid)  was my biggest concern, but then I saw it! And I had to google straight away "how vagina looks like" ,because I was puzzled.
I said puzzled? Sorry! I was terrified! And I haven't looked there for another two weeks!
Then I finally got the courage to check the situation again, but unfortunately nothing has changed! WTF! I've been doing Kegel exercise since the second day after birth!
 I got 3 stitches and I thought I will be pretty tight down there ,but it turns out that giant meteorite left giant destruction! Sex is out of the picture for a while!

Baby blues? Well...guess.
Hemorrhoids , gaping hole, marathon feeding, sore nipples, general exhaustion... You name it!
 I cried, I was tired, I was angry, frustrated, depressed, but then I sucked it up and repeated like a mantra : THIS IS MY FIRST AND LAST BABY!!!

And here I am, 6 weeks and 2 days after Zoe has been born, asking my husband if he would consider anot…

Breastfeeding sucks! Things that nobody will tell you until you experience it!

Our baby girl aka Milk Vampire is one month and one day old today , and her mama (me) turned into a walking vending machine!
After another 6 hours ( on and off ) marathon feeding I take a big breath and I sigh "thank God is finally over", when she suddenly opens her big eyes in which I see milk madness!  I can't imagine how there is anything left in my boobs for her to eat! But  I know, if I won't feed her in that very moment she will scream like a mad man! Or mad baby - to be more specific.
On a day like today I wish I could put her back into my womb!  It's emotionally and physically draining, and I'm asking myself why I'm still doing it?  Honestly I don't know.
She is natural. She can latch so easily and maybe that's what keep me going?  Our little cobra :) She will shake her little head right and left in a short distance from my breast just to attack her prey ( my nipple ) by surprise.
If you're curious how strong that baby …

My labour&delivery story

The plan was simple, deliver our baby girl on Monday , just after the new episode of Game of Thrones ,2 days before my due date! Haha! But it all started on Sunday evening and after 22 hours from the first contraction I gave birth to our beautiful daughter :)
It was an incredible experience and I won't forget that for the rest of my life!
The contraction started out of the blue. At the beginning they were mild so I still had a time to prepare myself. I took a shower, I washed my hair, shaved my legs and prepared hospital bag. Everything was ready, and we were ready ,so we went to hospital because by that time the contractions were getting stronger but still manageable so after an hour or so, they sent me back home.

At home I tried to relax, I took a bath but after 2 hours the contractions got much more stronger and frequent ( every 4-5 minutes ) and I wasn't able to talk when the pain stroke so I thought - Ok this has to be it!
But again , in hospital they told me that I'…

Tick Tock...

Any moment I can become a mom! OMG! And I can't even change the nappy! LOL! I  really enjoy being pregnant and I love my protruding belly ♥  but I also can't wait to meet our baby girl.  I wonder how our life will look like when she'll join our team ;) 
 Sometimes annoy me when people say to me that I won't get enough sleep, or I will be constantly tired for the first few months, the baby will costs a lot and I won't have time for myself , friends and even my husband.
It all sounds very negative and I refuse to be the person to whom the child is just troublesome duty. We wanted to become a parents, that was our deliberate decision. So I always say: "Yes , my life is going to change but I'm looking forward to that!". :D
So today I'm exactly 38 weeks pregnant and at this stage I wear my hubby's old t-shirts because I can't fit in most of my blouses anymore!  This week I also started my maternity leave, but I still go to gym where I work to …

Epidural? No thanks, I'm alright.

Maybe I'm naive , but I really think I won't need any drugs when the time will come to give a birth to our baby girl.  I'm very confident and optimistic to face this big challenge, but saying that I keep my mind open. The last thing I want to do is to play a martyr in such an important day. So when I will really need it , I'll ask for painkillers.   ( I'm definitely going to try gas and air regardless of whether I need it or not, because I really want to find out if that makes me high , haha! )
To prepare myself for this big day, I use visualization technique and relaxations. I also created a list of birth preferences. Here are my requests:

1. Warm bath with foam and candles
2. Chilled champagne
3. Professional masseuse from Thailand :D

That might not happen, so just in case I prepared plan B, which I think sounds more realistic:

* I would like to have medical free labour and birth if possible, but I may change my mind during the course of the labour.

* During the labo…

No soothers, no bottles, no bogie - Paleo parents

Attachment parenting - I came across that philosophy few years ago in Jean's Liedloff  book "The Continuum Concept".  Co-sleeping, breastfeeding, carry the baby on the body as often as possible, responding to the infant signals without judgement and displeasure, being sensitive and emotionally available guardian without any undue concern or obsessively focusing on the child -  everything seemed to me so natural, so obvious! 
I was very interested in that topic long before I got pregnant, so I bought another book. This time it was a book by William and Martha Sears " The Attachment Parenting Book". I introduce my husband to their concept, and I was very surprised when he said how he felt reading this book. Like there was some truth deep inside, hidden instinct , who now saw the daylight. 
In a few weeks we'll be able to test that instinct ;)

Paleo Mama :D

Exercising during pregnancy

I was always into sport. I think it all started with watching Olympic games on TV. My favourite olympic sports were: gymnastic and figure skating.  To this day I have a scar under my chin, after practising my skating moves on the kitchen tiles! LOL.
At school I was always taking a part in a different sport competitions like : swimming, 60m run or speed skating. I need to say, I've never been extraordinary or great with this things , but I was good enough to compete with others. Last place in the competition it is also a place! Haha
But my true adventure with fitness started years ago when I visited my brother in Germany. Back then he was into gymnastics and he took me to his training. And from that very day I decided I want to be super fit! I left my previous job and I became a fitness instructor. That was 7 years ago, 
Now I'm 34 weeks pregnant and I still continue my training. The more my belly is growing , the less intense is my training, but I do what I can do and I alwa…

"Bang Bang"

Sometimes I wonder if instead of being a fitness instructor I should become a film director and work with the biggest stars like Beyonce or Lady Gaga and create video clips for them:D Hahah!

Don't forget to subscribe to my Youtube channel for more crazy videos! :D

Also worth to watch:

xoxo Mags

Body Image: Loving Your Body During Pregnancy

Accepting my body image was always a problem for me.
 Looking back, there was always something I would like to change in the way I looked ,from my hair, face to whole body!  And now, when I'm pregnant and my body is changing so rapidly, there is no time to complain, ha!
 Every week I look slightly different. My belly is growing, my breast are getting bigger and bigger , my face is changing and every time I step up on the scales, it shows bigger number!

It might be hard to have positive body image during pregnancy,especially nowadays, where "the perfect body" is desired by most of us.
But growing a human being inside my body is a great reason to embrace and celebrate the changes, and I look forward to the challenge of giving birth to my baby girl! 

And here's what I do to love my body image during pregnancy:
1. I exercise.
That help me to stay strong and feel sexy. 
2. I style myself.
I try to dress fashionably.
 I also invested into key pieces like maternity jeans and …

Easter is coming!

Well....I know there is a few good weeks to Easter, but when it gets brighter outside I'm starting to think about my favourite holiday and my favourite season - Spring :D 
I love when the Sun is waking me up in the morning ,like today, when the birds are singing outside the window and seagulls shit on my car. Ah..... " What a wonderful woooorld" ♫ ♫ ♫ The days are getting longer and there is more energy and ideas to implement.
One evening I had the idea to make Easter cards for my family. They were so easy to make, so I decided to share with you that simple concept.

Enjoy! :D

xoxo Mags

In my little prison - Overthinking and Perfectionism

I wake up in the morning and thousands of thoughts run through my head.
Should I do this or that? Should I make a breakfast or do the laundry? Maybe will be better if I do this first , then that, and that...
I plan my whole day long before I get out of bed. I haven't done anything yet and I'm already tired!
What to do? What to say? What to buy? What would be the best for me and people around me?
 Sometimes it's so difficult to make a decision!
Why? Because I always want to make the right one. I also worry what other people might think. I always look for hidden meanings in conversation, pick apart all details ,what triggers a cascade of thoughts.  I am pretty sure that if I would act instead of thinking and trying to be perfect,  much more things could be done and created by now.
Overthinking is not productive and it does not do me any good. In fact, it holds me back from being spontaneous and creative.
So get out of your head and trust your gut! - I say to myself - because how…

Hidden ge(r)ms

Second Hand shops once again proved their worth!  You'd be surprised how good quality children's clothes can be found there. I was very surprised! 
From time to time I visit second hand shops but I've never paid attention to children's sections. Till now. Recently I got so many baby clothes that we needed to buy a new chest of drawers for all that stuff! And I need to say, they are as good as new. Ha! Or even better because for that price you can't go wrong.
Children's clothes are usually sold three pieces for €1! Which is ridiculous because I'm talking here about clothes from such brands like Next, Mama&Papas , Mothercare, H&M or Zara. 

So here I am, with drawers full of clothes for our baby girl who is still in my belly :P  Till May though! :) ♥♥♥
xoxo Mags

Seeking for help is not a shame

When you feel depressed, worthless or hopeless, chatting with a friend might be simply not enough.

In my experience, people around us are often not able to help us when we are depressed , because they don't now how /they also are going through some rough shit right now or struggling with unresolved issues from the past.
Note! Saying:

 "I feel the same."

" It's no big deal, I was going through the worst stuff. "

 "Everything will be ok, you'll see." somebody who is reaching out for your help, is the worst things you can ever say!!!

Life those days might be overwhelming for most of us. With all that pressure we are putting on ourselves, sometimes is really hard to cope with everyday tasks.

In my opinion,  if you are going to get some professional help , you already made a huge step forward in improving quality of your life!

It's not easy to open up to a person you practically don't know and talk about your problems, fears and worries.…

Cheers to another awesome year!!!

Year 2015 was absolutely extraordinary!!!  No, wait a minute...let me start again.
We made year 2015 absolutely extraordinary!!! :D:D:D
We've been bold, brave and fearless in order to pursue our wildest dreams! We travelled to -> USA <- , spent 3 months in  -> Gran Canaria <-, we developed our passions and achieve personal goals. :D 
You can read about my biggest achievement -> here <-.  And if you like to hear me singing -> just click here <-
And if that would be not enough, we brought Canarian Princess from our latest trip ♥♥♥

We are waiting for you baby girl to join our Kick-Ass team! :p

Year 2015 was truly amazing!!! And there is more to come in 2016 :D
What I would like to focus on in this year? Well...I will continue what I started few year ago, which is becoming my greatest version and make my dreams come true!
  I also want to learn how to say at loud what I really mean , express my opinion regardless of the opinions of others. So help me God becaus…