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Breastfeeding sucks! Things that nobody will tell you until you experience it!

CLUSTER FEEDING

Our baby girl aka Milk Vampire is one month and one day old today , and her mama (me) turned into a walking vending machine!

After another 6 hours ( on and off ) marathon feeding I take a big breath and I sigh "thank God is finally over", when she suddenly opens her big eyes in which I see milk madness!
 I can't imagine how there is anything left in my boobs for her to eat! But  I know, if I won't feed her in that very moment she will scream like a mad man! Or mad baby - to be more specific.

On a day like today I wish I could put her back into my womb! 
It's emotionally and physically draining, and I'm asking myself why I'm still doing it?
 Honestly I don't know.

She is natural. She can latch so easily and maybe that's what keep me going? 
Our little cobra :) She will shake her little head right and left in a short distance from my breast just to attack her prey ( my nipple ) by surprise.

If you're curious how strong that baby can suck, simply put the end of the vacuum cleaner to your nipple and turn it on. And leave it for an hour or 6!  LOL!

Sometimes I recall those times when I could use the bathroom freely, whenever I had a need, or I could take a shower without fear that the little vampire will wake up any minute. 
I used to eat every 3 hours. Now I eat when my "boss" allow me to do this. 
I used to dream big. Now I have just one dream and it's called hot meal.
I used to spend about 20 minutes on my make-up. Now I simply do not go out anywhere and my clothes are always stained with my own milk....

They say that breastfeeding is a beautiful bonding experience. Well...I'm not sure about that, and saying that I'm starting to question my maternal instinct. But the only instinct I have at the moment is a survival instinct. That's all I have left. ;)
 But they also say - nothing last forever , so I hope that someday she will feed shorter! 


xoxo
Mags

PS: Do you have/had similar experience with your little one? Or maybe want to share your cracked/bleeding nipples story? Feel free to leave your comment below! 

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A year from today

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Exactly one year ago I started my maternity leave and I don't need to tell you how my life is different now from that life I used to live before I've become a mom. But it won't be about what was before, but rather it's gonna be about what's ahead of me. How my life can change in a year from today? Let's see! 
So make yourself a nice cup of tea, sit down and be the witness of my journey.

xoxo
Mags

#7

Life keeps me entertained. But the quest for a dream job is still on.
I've destroyed my old journals today. Deliberately. And I feel lighter by 5 years.


#13

I sit on the sunbed, one I bought 2 years ago and I listen to the sound of the ocean. It feels like we have never left this place. Just our apartment is better. We swapped bin view (#budgettravel ) for the ocean view (#bigspenders ).  And Canarian Princess is now with us. Finally at home. ;)
We wander around the streets and refresh our memories about things we have done and food we have eaten during the time we lived here. And we are doing so well with our Spanglish!