Breastfeeding sucks! Things that nobody will tell you until you experience it!

CLUSTER FEEDING

Our baby girl aka Milk Vampire is one month and one day old today , and her mama (me) turned into a walking vending machine!

After another 6 hours ( on and off ) marathon feeding I take a big breath and I sigh "thank God is finally over", when she suddenly opens her big eyes in which I see milk madness!

 I can't imagine how there is anything left in my boobs for her to eat! But  I know, if I won't feed her in that very moment she will scream like a mad man! Or mad baby - to be more specific.

On a day like today I wish I could put her back into my womb! 

It's emotionally and physically draining, and I'm asking myself why I'm still doing it?

 Honestly I don't know.

She is natural. She can latch so easily and maybe that's what keep me going? 

Our little cobra :) She will shake her little head right and left in a short distance from my breast just to attack her prey ( my nipple ) by surprise.

If you're curious how strong that baby can suck, simply put the end of the vacuum cleaner to your nipple and turn it on. And leave it for an hour or 6!  LOL!

Sometimes I recall those times when I could use the bathroom freely, whenever I had a need, or I could take a shower without fear that the little vampire will wake up any minute. 

I used to eat every 3 hours. Now I eat when my "boss" allow me to do this. 

I used to dream big. Now I have just one dream and it's called hot meal.
I used to spend about 20 minutes on my make-up. Now I simply do not go out anywhere and my clothes are always stained with my own milk....

They say that breastfeeding is a beautiful bonding experience. Well...I'm not sure about that, and saying that I'm starting to question my maternal instinct. But the only instinct I have at the moment is a survival instinct. That's all I have left. ;)

 But they also say - nothing last forever , so I hope that someday she will feed shorter! 

xoxo

Mags

PS: Do you have/had similar experience with your little one? Or maybe want to share your cracked/bleeding nipples story? Feel free to leave your comment below! 

Tick Tock...

Any moment I can become a mom! OMG! And I can't even change the nappy! LOL!

I  really enjoy being pregnant and I love my protruding belly ♥  but I also can't wait to meet our baby girl. 

I wonder how our life will look like when she'll join our team ;) 

 Sometimes annoy me when people say to me that I won't get enough sleep, or I will be constantly tired for the first few months, the baby will costs a lot and I won't have time for myself , friends and even my husband.

It all sounds very negative and I refuse to be the person to whom the child is just troublesome duty. We wanted to become a parents, that was our deliberate decision. So I always say: "Yes , my life is going to change but I'm looking forward to that!". :D

So today I'm exactly 38 weeks pregnant and at this stage I wear my hubby's old t-shirts because I can't fit in most of my blouses anymore! 

This week I also started my maternity leave, but I still go to gym where I work to train a bit before that BIG DAY!

Beside that I read books, watch movies, sing and lie on the couch. A lot! Haha!

xoxo
Mags

Epidural? No thanks, I'm alright.

Maybe I'm naive , but I really think I won't need any drugs when the time will come to give a birth to our baby girl.  I'm very confident and optimistic to face this big challenge, but saying that I keep my mind open. The last thing I want to do is to play a martyr in such an important day. So when I will really need it , I'll ask for painkillers. 

 ( I'm definitely going to try gas and air regardless of whether I need it or not, because I really want to find out if that makes me high , haha! )

To prepare myself for this big day, I use visualization technique and relaxations. I also created a list of birth preferences. Here are my requests:

1. Warm bath with foam and candles
2. Chilled champagne
3. Professional masseuse from Thailand :D

That might not happen, so just in case I prepared plan B, which I think sounds more realistic:

* I would like to have medical free labour and birth if possible, but I may change my mind during the course of the labour.

* During the labour and childbirth I would like to stay upright and mobile for as long as possible.

* I hope to use fallowing:

- birthing ball

- birthing chair
- shower
- music
- massage
- warm compresses to vaginal area for relaxation and comfort

*My preferred methods on pain relief:

-shower
-massage
-breathing techniques

* I would like to try a variety of pushing positions: 

- squatting
- kneeling
- side-lying
- on all fours

* I would like to touch my baby's head and see it when it goes through my birth canal.
( Perhaps I will very quickly change my mind when it comes to the real thing!!! Haha )

I'm also working on playlist with music I like which I hope to listen during labour :D

And that's how I imagine my big day, haha! 

xoxo

Mags

No soothers, no bottles, no bogie - Paleo parents

Attachment parenting - I came across that philosophy few years ago in Jean's Liedloff  book "The Continuum Concept". 

Co-sleeping, breastfeeding, carry the baby on the body as often as possible, responding to the infant signals without judgement and displeasure, being sensitive and emotionally available guardian without any undue concern or obsessively focusing on the child -  everything seemed to me so natural, so obvious! 

I was very interested in that topic long before I got pregnant, so I bought another book. This time it was a book by William and Martha Sears " The Attachment Parenting Book".

I introduce my husband to their concept, and I was very surprised when he said how he felt reading this book. Like there was some truth deep inside, hidden instinct , who now saw the daylight. 

In a few weeks we'll be able to test that instinct ;)

xoxo
Paleo Mama :D

Exercising during pregnancy

 I was always into sport. I think it all started with watching Olympic games on TV. My favourite olympic sports were: gymnastic and figure skating. 

To this day I have a scar under my chin, after practising my skating moves on the kitchen tiles! LOL.

At school I was always taking a part in a different sport competitions like : swimming, 60m run or speed skating. I need to say, I've never been extraordinary or great with this things , but I was good enough to compete with others. Last place in the competition it is also a place! Haha

But my true adventure with fitness started years ago when I visited my brother in Germany. Back then he was into gymnastics and he took me to his training. And from that very day I decided I want to be super fit! I left my previous job and I became a fitness instructor. That was 7 years ago, 

Now I'm 34 weeks pregnant and I still continue my training. The more my belly is growing , the less intense is my training, but I do what I can do and I always listen to my body. Sometimes it means just 5 minutes on Cross-trainer and some gentle stretching, but even in so advanced pregnancy I would use free weights and do some deadlifts or squats. 

Nowadays things had changed around , and seeing pregnant woman at the gym or rushing to yoga class with mat under her arm, it's not that controversial. In fact, there are studies which show that exercising during pregnancy has great benefits. It make you feel strong and it can prepare you for labour and childbirth.

Remember, before you continue your old exercise routine while you pregnant , or begin a new one, you should talk to your doctor. 

xoxo
Mags

Body Image: Loving Your Body During Pregnancy

Accepting my body image was always a problem for me.
 Looking back, there was always something I would like to change in the way I looked ,from my hair, face to whole body! 

And now, when I'm pregnant and my body is changing so rapidly, there is no time to complain, ha!
 Every week I look slightly different. My belly is growing, my breast are getting bigger and bigger , my face is changing and every time I step up on the scales, it shows bigger number!

It might be hard to have positive body image during pregnancy,especially nowadays, where "the perfect body" is desired by most of us.

But growing a human being inside my body is a great reason to embrace and celebrate the changes, and I look forward to the challenge of giving birth to my baby girl! 

And here's what I do to love my body image during pregnancy:

1. I exercise.

That help me to stay strong and feel sexy. 

2. I style myself.

I try to dress fashionably.
 I also invested into key pieces like maternity jeans and trousers.

 Maternity clothes might be expensive but believe me, you don't need much!
For t-shirts I go with larger size, and that works fine for me :)

3. I eat well.

That helps me to gain the weight gradually and get the right nutrition, which gives me energy to take care of myself ♥

4. I take care of myself.

I rest when I need to, and every time I go out, I put my make up on and style my hair. 

5. I have a good support network.

This one is the most important for me!
 I surround myself with positive people who understand all changes pregnant women is going through.

xoxo
Mags

Cheers to another awesome year!!!

Year 2015 was absolutely extraordinary!!! 

No, wait a minute...let me start again.

We made year 2015 absolutely extraordinary!!! :D:D:D

We've been bold, brave and fearless in order to pursue our wildest dreams!

We travelled to -> USA <- , spent 3 months in  -> Gran Canaria <-, we developed our passions and achieve personal goals. :D 

You can read about my biggest achievement -> here <-. 

And if you like to hear me singing -> just click here <-

And if that would be not enough, we brought Canarian Princess from our latest trip ♥♥♥

We are waiting for you baby girl to join our Kick-Ass team! :p

Year 2015 was truly amazing!!! And there is more to come in 2016 :D

What I would like to focus on in this year? Well...I will continue what I started few year ago, which is becoming my greatest version and make my dreams come true!

  I also want to learn how to say at loud what I really mean , express my opinion regardless of the opinions of others. So help me God because I going to make some enemies, haha! :P

xoxo

Mags

I saw an Angel!!!

Hi guys! 

Have a beautiful Christmas and have fun during this festive season!!!

And remember , miracles happen! An Angel just paid me a visit. LOL! :D

xoxo

Mags

Greetings from Dublin!

Hola my Canarian amigos! Como estas? ;)

As you can see, we also have here sea and mountains with breathtaking views! 

It's true that the weather is not as great as in Las Palmas ,but wearing a warm hat and scarf also has its charm ;P 

So don't hesitate! Buy a ticket today because we are waiting for you guys! 

And hopefully we'll see you soon!!!

xoxo

Mags&Bart

Houston we have a problem!

Would you like to live in a world where people do things they hate?

Would you imagine to being dependant of people who don't like their jobs, and just do it because is well paid? 

That's not a positive vision, isn't?

So here I am! Staring at the window and wondering - what should I do now? 2 weeks ago we came back form our biggest adventure , which was amazing by the way, but my big fat plan stopped at that very moment I  have walked into our apartment in Dublin. 

So I'm out of employment and thinking  : Mags, that could be an opportunity to finally find a right job for you! ( or get heart attack from car insurance that I should pay a few weeks ago! )

Recently I came across that inspiring quote:

"What you most fear is what you most desire"

That gave me something to think about. My biggest fear right now is to being permanent unemployed....and according to this golden thought I'm on the right track!!! LOL! :D

xoxo

Mags

Day 12

I finally have time to brush my teeth as long as it's recommended.

I can slowly sip my coffee on ice and eat my breakfast at 12pm.

I watch people who are in a hurry to work, from work to home , from one meeting to another..or somewhere else.

I don't wear my makeup.

I wash clothes in the sink....( it's sounds a bit like I became a hobo! Haha! )

I go to bed late at night.

I practice yoga.

I shave my legs every day what's driving me crazy!!!

I eat more fruit than ever before.

I drink more than before.

I wear only 2 pairs of shoes.

I don't miss my wardrobe full of clothes, neither shelf full of nail polish.

I say ¡Hola! to everyone.

Every day I learn one word in Spanish.

I spend more money than I should.

My skin becomes more and more tanned.

Grains of sand are always on my bed and in between book pages ....

and that's how my days look like. 

xoxo

Mags

Day 2

Today we celebrate our seventh wedding anniversary!!!

I can still fit in my wedding dress! :P

xoxo
Mags

Summer in Ireland

Summer is my best season :) I just love Summer! It's nice and warm outside , days are long, greengrocers are full of summer fruit , and what is more important ,you can finally wear those denim shorts you got it on sale last year!!! Whoop! Whoop! ;) 

I like to shop in Summer season when store shelves are filled with flowery sandals and hangers are full off colorful clothes. 

Generally everything is better in Summer. My skin tone is nicer , my mood, my legs ( because I need to shave it on every second day ). Just my wallet suffers constantly, but how you can resist new bikini or another pair of sunglasses??? You can't! Haha :P

Great weather does not happen often here in Ireland, but when it dose,  I try to make the best of it!

xoxo

Mags

Rocky road

It took me more than 4 years to do something that I thought was impossible for me, and out of my reach!
I have finally learned how to enjoy my life! :D

I think depression it's still taboo and we don't speak at loud about it. I never did. Not many people knew that I had depression.

 Sometimes depression may effect people who are close to us and we may not be aware of it! And it is not just a bad day or lack of energy. Is something more! It is a nasty , heavy , dark voice who whispers to your ear over and over again that you are useless, not good enough ,you are not worthy of love , you are nothing! And it make you fell like everything is hopeless. It drags you down to that dark place where you feel alone and miss understood. You can't even understand yourself.

Many times I've been asking myself - what the fuck is wrong with me? Why I fell that way? Why I can't be like everybody else? Am I lazy or what?
Even the smallest challenge was like something impossible to do. Sometimes it was hard to drag myself out of bed in the morning, and do the simplest things during the day. But there was that one thing I mastered to perfection - fake smile. 

Not once, not twice that voice ( my own voice ) said to me that there is no point to try, no point to change something, you are useless, you are weak ,you are a one big mistake.
 Many times I felt so hopeless that I was willing to let it go....But today I'm glad that I didn't and I just kept going through the rocky road.

The biggest change in my attitude towards the world and myself occurred when I miscarried for the second time within a few months. That was like a punch into my stomach!!! Everything collapsed like dominoes, my plans&dreams, my self-esteem.... It hurt so much, physically and mentally, but then something snapped in me.

Few weeks after I realized ,that I started to perceive myself in a different way. The pressure I was always putting to myself dropped.
That was so liberating! All those things I was hating myself for become my strengths.
It was a huge step forward!

 Before I thought I need to do this and that in order to be liked and loved by people. I used to hate my own company! I could not even look at myself in the mirror!!!  But I always wanted to be around people, but when I was with them, I felt bad, I felt stressed out. I thought it is better that way, then to be alone with my own intrusive&pessimistic thoughts.

Now I try to put myself and my well-being on the first place. I enjoy people company more then ever before but I also really like my own company :D

Over those 4 years I've learned a lot about myself. And the most important - I've learned how to like myself. ♥

In last Monday I've finished a certain period of my life. I was coming back from my last counseling session and big tears were rolling out from my eyes. There were tears of happiness :) I was so proud of myself for what I achieved!  And now, when I look back, I'm incredible grateful for all those things that happened to me through my life, for all those people whom I met on my way,  because thanks to that I am who I am today.

Life will be easier or harder but I will always try my best by accepting things which I can not control and change those things, I'm able to change!

xoxo
Mags

Go trekking!

How good it is to jump in to old track-suit, not worry about make -up, about hair ,about technological gadgets , no maps, no GPS, just pure nature, ( old track-suit, trekking shoes, backpack full of food, waterproof jacket, camera - camera is a must!  )  and you :D

xoxo

Mags

The magical cure for everything

I will not hesitate to say that women LOVE IT! And most of us are probably addicted to that!
We do that when we are sad. We do it when we are happy. It is better then banana pancake with ice-cream and milk chocolate, better then sun holidays under the palm tree. Oh yeah! Better then sex? Well...:P I guess it depends. Ha! :D

Yes ladies,  I'm talking about SHOPPING! :D Shopping in a mall,  online shopping or in a secondhand. It doesn't matter where! All that matter is the content of your wallet or credit card. :D

Do I need it? Will I wear it?- I ask myself every time I end up with new pair of shoes or NICE! peace of garment :)

The best thing about shopping here in Ireland is the return policy.You can return any unworn purchase (  does not apply to underwear, earrings ) within 28 days. Sometimes the time is even longer then 4 weeks. How cool is that? You can  buy something mindlessly and later return it. 

Well , it happened to me few times. I always get the glare or second thought at home straight after shopping. Do you also think that things always look better in shop mirrors??? Anyway then I need to come back to the shop to return unwanted thing ( and by the way to buy something new haha! )

 That's the way it is :D

But mostly I'm happy with my precious purchases and don't return then, even when my credit card begs for it. Haha!

xoxo
Mags

50 shades of .... anger!

Friday evening. I'm working on my blog, trying to improve some bits. Unaware of anything I started to delete all my posts in google+. ( Don't ask me why!) 

Google+ it's not a blog, right? Well apparently both of this things are closely linked with each other.

So now you can imagine my horror when I discovered that most of my pictures are gone!!!!

Yes gone! Out! No longer present on my blog!!!

For the next two days I tried to found out how to restore my photos from the internet.

Please note that part of this missing photos weren't present on my computer! :( They were specially customized for the use of the blog and then deleted.

 It took me some time to realized that I won't restore whole year of blogging. 

In my ears I still have the lyrics of Disney's song: " Let it go, let it go...."

At the end I did let go.

What I learned from that experience?

That nothing last forever! Ha! It's not the most cheerful thought :P But I also learned something else!

EVERY CLOUDS HAS A SILVER LINING

  Because of what happened I had a time to think , what I really want to write about&what I want to share with my numerous readers! Haha :D

I tided up my blog, I replaced some of the pictures, and now I'm ready to move on with new ideas&inspirations.

Never  ever give up!

  

xoxo

Mags

3...2...1...

HAPPY NEW YEAR

and 

happy 1st birthday to my blog! :D

I wish this New Year will be filled with plenty of positive posts and funny videos :D

Happy New Year to everybody! 

May your wishes come true!

xoxo

Mags

Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas to everyone! 

Enjoy this special time with your family&friends!!!

And don't forget to be awesome!!! :D

xoxo

Mags

Roller Disco

When I first time saw this video clip in 1998 I thought how cool it would be to go to the roller disco! :D

And here I am, 16 years later....

Dreams DO come true!