6 weeks postpartum - the real story

After leaving the hospital the third nipple ( hemorrhoid)  was my biggest concern, but then I saw it! And I had to google straight away "how vagina looks like" ,because I was puzzled.
I said puzzled? Sorry! I was terrified! And I haven't looked there for another two weeks!
Then I finally got the courage to check the situation again, but unfortunately nothing has changed! WTF! I've been doing Kegel exercise since the second day after birth!
 I got 3 stitches and I thought I will be pretty tight down there ,but it turns out that giant meteorite left giant destruction! Sex is out of the picture for a while!

Baby blues? Well...guess.
Hemorrhoids , gaping hole, marathon feeding, sore nipples, general exhaustion... You name it!
 I cried, I was tired, I was angry, frustrated, depressed, but then I sucked it up and repeated like a mantra : THIS IS MY FIRST AND LAST BABY!!!

And here I am, 6 weeks and 2 days after Zoe has been born, asking my husband if he would consider another baby in the future!!! LOL!

What helped us to survive those 6 weeks:

1. Humor! 

2. New Parents Pack from the Pure Kitchen

3. Mei Tai - baby carrier

4. Co-sleeping

PS: If you are interested in baby wearing, check out Billies website! She gave us a workshop on how to ''wear'' our baby girl and helped to decide which sling was right for us :D

http://www.billiesbabywearing.ie/babywearingconsultancy/

xoxo
Mags

Breastfeeding sucks! Things that nobody will tell you until you experience it!

CLUSTER FEEDING

Our baby girl aka Milk Vampire is one month and one day old today , and her mama (me) turned into a walking vending machine!

After another 6 hours ( on and off ) marathon feeding I take a big breath and I sigh "thank God is finally over", when she suddenly opens her big eyes in which I see milk madness!

 I can't imagine how there is anything left in my boobs for her to eat! But  I know, if I won't feed her in that very moment she will scream like a mad man! Or mad baby - to be more specific.

On a day like today I wish I could put her back into my womb! 

It's emotionally and physically draining, and I'm asking myself why I'm still doing it?

 Honestly I don't know.

She is natural. She can latch so easily and maybe that's what keep me going? 

Our little cobra :) She will shake her little head right and left in a short distance from my breast just to attack her prey ( my nipple ) by surprise.

If you're curious how strong that baby can suck, simply put the end of the vacuum cleaner to your nipple and turn it on. And leave it for an hour or 6!  LOL!

Sometimes I recall those times when I could use the bathroom freely, whenever I had a need, or I could take a shower without fear that the little vampire will wake up any minute. 

I used to eat every 3 hours. Now I eat when my "boss" allow me to do this. 

I used to dream big. Now I have just one dream and it's called hot meal.
I used to spend about 20 minutes on my make-up. Now I simply do not go out anywhere and my clothes are always stained with my own milk....

They say that breastfeeding is a beautiful bonding experience. Well...I'm not sure about that, and saying that I'm starting to question my maternal instinct. But the only instinct I have at the moment is a survival instinct. That's all I have left. ;)

 But they also say - nothing last forever , so I hope that someday she will feed shorter! 

xoxo

Mags

PS: Do you have/had similar experience with your little one? Or maybe want to share your cracked/bleeding nipples story? Feel free to leave your comment below!